1. What was your overall impression from this piece?

Overall, this piece was well written, and, by my standards (which may not be that high because I'm fairly new to this thing we call writing), well developed. However, it was evidently not satisfactory to you, so I will try to help fix that.

2. How could it be developed?

It might have been better if, as previously mentioned, you referred back to the principle's teaching while Chaz is at the top of the mountain, to see how he (I'll assume Chaz is a he) feels about the "peak of his life" now. I'm not that great at figurative reading but I believe that the clouds and fog at the summit are kind of saying that it's hard to see where you're going once you're out of education??

3. Do I need to expand/explain things further?

Yes. Maybe I'm missing some points here, but it seems to me that you mentioned "The End" and an "it" that a golden rule forbade talk of. I think that maybe The End could be safely assumed to be death, but it is somewhat of a vague term. Maybe there is a different way you could say it that might clarify...? As for the "it", I was also thinking that this might be death/what happens after cancer/the cancer itself, but again, it didn't seem very clear.

4. General points for improvement?

Mostly the things mentioned above. There are a few typos as well, which are slightly distracting, but not major.

5. And of course, what's your favourite thing about it?

My favourite thing... Hmm. Would it be too cheap to say the whole thing <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="387" title=" (Wink)"/>? Well, anyway, my favorite part would probably be when Chaz and Toby fell. That seems to be my entire life: "Hey, look at me, I'm young and wild and-" *trips over shoelaces* "-In pain!"


This is my first critique, so I hope I did alright!